While I'm Waiting

I came accross the movie FIREPROOF this morning before I left for church. It just amazes me still how God talks to us in the most creative way. I stumbled upon this on John Mateos Ong's multiply site.

Lately my relationship with Jesus has been on a dry spell. I just miss Him so much lately but at the same time I'm not doing anything to look for Him. Yes I'm still doing church work and serving Him through different ministries but I don't feel Him in my life. And it just made me realize that ministry does not equate a relationship with God.

This morning during the worship service, Hazel said something about times that we just tend to sing these songs but not really feeling it or nothing is coming out of our hearts. But she just encouraged us to still sing, to never get tired of singing and worshiping God until the time our hearts are ready.

I just want to share the song from the movie. It's entitled While I'm Waiting by John Waller. It's really beautiful. I hope it will encourage you the way it encouraged me.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on you, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on you, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait.

I WILL MOVE AHEAD, BOLD AND CONFIDENT. TAKING EVERY STEP IN OBEDIENCE. WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU. WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP. WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL NOT FAINT. I’LL BE RUNNING THE RACE, EVEN WHILE I WAIT.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on you, Lord.
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on you, Lord.
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait.
Yes, I will wait.

I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING,I WILL SERVE YOU WHILE I’M WAITING, I WILL WORSHIP WHILE I’M WAITING ON YOU LORD.

An oh by the way, I think FIREPROOF is a REALLY GOOD MOVIE. I encourage all married couples and those like me who are going to marry soon to watch it. Trailer pa lang amazing na. I can't wait to see the movie.

a crazy week.

My week started with a sad news. Eugene's aunt who's very close to them (like a second mom) died. She died of complications from her chemo for leukemia. She died in New York. Good thing her sisters (Eugene's mom another aunt) are in Seattle and Chicago to be with her in her last days. We will miss her presence in the wedding. She was even preparing already for what she will be bringing for all of us before she went in the hospital. She's a very very kind person and will truly be missed.

Tuesday was not very good for me either. I started feeling sick. Actually morning pa lang I wasn't feeling good na. But I had a lot of things to do so I decided to go to work. I should've worked from home but I left the laptop in the office na kasi to stop myself from working pag uwi. But after doing the urgent tasks, I decided to go home na. That was after lunch.

Wednesday, I was on sick leave. I just rested the whole day but would turn on the laptop once in a while for urgent emails or questions from my team. (Adik!) Haha! But they were able to manage so hopefully I can do this na more often. Not get sick ha. But just to rest.

Thursday, I wasn't feeling well pa but better na so I went to work. It was Trick or Treat day in the office so medyo busy. Unfortunately, just before the kids went up to start the Trick or Treat, I cut myself with a swiss knife. Hay! A teammate brought pomelo and we were trying top open it when I cut myself. I went straight to the clinic kasi the cut was kinda deep. It was bleeding for an hour! The nurse had to give me a medicine for it to stop bleeding.

Friday, I was so worried the whole day. While in the clinic kasi the nurse asked if I have an anti tetanus vaccine. Then that night Eugene was telling me how important it is. Nag research pa ako on effects of not having one. Ayun super paranoid ako ng Friday. I went to a clinic in Glorietta and had my anti tetanus shot.

Hay having a week like this one will really allow you to appreciate weekends more.

Cheesy Movies

I'm on sick leave today. But I won't talk about that.

I just finished watching "P.S. I Love You". No, not the Sharon-Gabby movie. (Although I've seen that one also.) This is the one with Hillary Swank. I got interested when Daphne blogged about it.

Last Friday night naman I had a date with Eugene and we saw "Nights in Rodanthe". Yeah it has been a cheesy week. Haha!

I liked both movies. The two movies were very romantic and funny in a witty way although both stories revolved on death of someone you're romantically involved with. For someone getting married in a few months, it scares me a lot. It's not that I'm backing out or something. It just made me think if it's all worth it. You'll be spending most of your life with this person. You'll build memories that will not be perfect if built with someone else. But eventually it's inevitable that you will lose him.

So is it worth it?

I'm sure it is. I'm positive that it will be. =)

I'm not good at making movie reviews so I'll just post some lines from both movies. 'Hope it will convince you to see it.

P.S. I Love You

Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you -- Gerry Kennedy

You know the worst thing for a parent... second after losing a child? Watching your child head for the same life you had. You can't stop it. It's a terrible, helpless feeling. Makes you angry all the time. And I've been angry. For a very long time. I'm exhausted. -- Patricia

We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair. -- Daniel Connelly

Holly Kennedy: I don't want to make any mistakes.

Gerry Kennedy: Then you're in the wrong species, love. Be a duck.

Daniel Connelly: What do women want?

Holly Kennedy: [whispering] We have no idea what we want.

Nights in Rodanthe

Saying good-bye to you today is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do, and when I get back, I can honestly swear that I’ll never do it again. I love you now for what we’ve already shared and I love now in anticipation for all that’s to come. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I miss you already, but I’m sure in my heart that you’ll be with me always. In the past few days I spent with you, you became my dream.

When I sleep, I dream of you and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side, and my days with your heart.

High School Chronicles I

Everything started in Facebook when Shalah thought of uploading our grade school and high school pictures in Theresians 98 group. Riot sobra! The others started uploading pictures also. The older it is, the better! Ang kulit sobra! Blackmail material ang pictures.

Anyway, then Frankie posted a blog here in Multiply about her own high school and college experiences. I got inspired to the same so here it is. :)

Our high school barkada was made up of 15 people! Dami no? I remember being called for one on one counseling and when the guidance counselor asked me sino ang friends ko I started mentioning their names. Ang nasabi lang niya was... "Oh you belong to that big group." HAHA! Ok.

I don't think we were really notorious, makulit lang talaga. I cannot remember doing anything significant na would cause, you know, cancellation of classes or things like that. As I've said talagang makulit lang.

Chuck would always laugh at my high school stories. One classic story....

I was in second year high school (II-4) and my Speech class was boring me to the max. I decided to write on a piece of paper the following... may pera sa ilaw. I passed that note to my seatmate and then she looked up. Sobrang tawa ako ng tawa. I know!!! So babaw diba? Anyway so we passed that note slowly to everyone in the class until half of the class from the back were waiting na on who would look up next. The teached finally caught us when these 3 girls, I think si Ina, Camille and Tata ata yun looked up ng sabay sabay. Half of the class laughed. And ayun basta super mad yung teacher and nahanap niya the note came from me. Bwahahaha! And ito pa... when she found the note and read it... she looked up also! Super natawa yung buong class. Sabi lang niya... "Ang babaw niyo!" HAHAHAHA!

Oh man! More of my high school chronicles next time. Here are some of our blackmail worthy pictures muna.

We were in fourth year in this picture. (IV-1)

If Life is Hard...

“One day we will meet beside the river and our Lord will dry every tear. For now, we must live in the joy of that promise and recall that for every generation life is hard, but God is faithful.”

Bodie Thoene

The Tale of Two Sisters

Oops! Nope this is not about me and Nicole. Hehe! It's about two sisters that became really close to my heart from the gospel of John and Luke.

Question... have you ever tried to do it all?

I know I have. Just two weeks ago I've been telling myself and some people around me how tired I was. Tired in every sense of the word ha. Tired from work, personal life (wedding stuff) and church. Yes, even church! One day sa small group session namin sa office I just caught myself crying really hard in front of people na were not that even close to me. Nagulat ako and I didn't realize na I was that tired that just sharing about it and pouring my heart out to this people can make me cry like that eh ang question lang naman was "How are you?"

After that small group the Lord reminded me of Mary and Martha. One day Jesus visited the house of these two sisters. While Martha was busy preparing the house and the food for the guests, Mary decided to sit at the feet of Jesus. So Martha got annoyed because instead of helping her sa kitchen she was there just sitting. So when she couldn't take it any longer, she told Jesus to ask Mary to help her instead of just sitting there staring and listening. And then Jesus told her these words...

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

I found myself relating to Martha and replying to that with, huwaaaattt?! But wait! There's more!

In the book of John naman Mary and Martha was mentioned again this time when Jesus brought Lazarus, their brother, back to life after being dead for four days. If you will notice in this story (read John 11) on the fourth day of Lazarus' death Jesus arrived and when Martha saw this she immediately run to Jesus' side. She told Him that if only He was there earlier their brother would have not died. Jesus replied and assured her that he'll live again. After that, Jesus called Mary and asked her to come to Him. As soon as she heard this she stood up and came to Jesus quickly. She asked the same question Martha asked and Jesus replied the same. And then Jesus brought Lazarus back to life.

Notice how Martha came running to Jesus while Mary patiently waited for His instructions? In the midst of trials Mary chose to patiently wait for the Lord's instructions and quickly obey as soon as she heard it. That was the result of her spending time at the feet of Jesus. By spending time with Him, she got to know Him better. She knows how He works, how He loves and how He sovereign He is. She knows that the Lord is still in control amidst the chaos around her so she just waited for Him to call her.

So simple lang ang naging message sa akin ni Lord at that time. Everything that I was busy with at that time are all blessings pala. Work is a blessing. Wedding is a blessing. Church work is a blessing. So bakit ako nagrereklamo na I am tired diba?

This is just like having a best friend. I'm sure you know your best friend very well. You know who their crush is. You know their favorite food. You know how they say or do things. You can even finish each other's sentences most of the time. You know how they're feeling. And most especially you know what is in their heart.

Natutuwa ako na He revealed to me what is in His heart. He made me appreciate the things that I was doing at that time were all there to give glory to Him. Pero ang greatest learning is if only I take time to spend some time at His feet I would know what is in His heart right away. I could have not noticed that I was tired if I knew in my heart and be always reminded that God is doing something in me every single moment of my life.

I pray I'll have Mary's heart inspite of this Martha world that we live in. Super busy! But I'm sure I don't need to let go of the Martha in me. I would always want to serve God wherever I am. But I pray for a heart that would choose what is better. I want a heart that is always longing to just sit at the feet of Jesus and get to know Him more through His word.

Uultin ko lang ang sabi ni Kuya Martin sa DEV-O 1 natin...

Sa mundong maingay,

maupo,

tumahimik,

makinig.

NOTE: This is my first DEV-O contribution. Feel free to visit http://wccwildfire.multiply.com !

Blessed with a Burden

I was watching the movie "The Freedom Writers" the other night on HBO. The movie is based on the writings of the students from Woodrow Wilson High School in LA. Most of these students are members of local gangs "destined" to be a menace society and just die unnoticed. They were all in the English class of young Ms. Gruwell, a first year teacher filled with dreams of being the best teacher and produce students she can be proud of. What she found was one uphill battle after another, but that did not stop her. This is her dream and she will make it happen.

There is this one line in the movie that really hit me. At one point Ms. Gruwell is talking with her father. She is crying and wondering if all that she has done really matters when all she does is fight battles that never seem to end. Her father looks at her and says, "You have been blessed with a burden, my daughter."

I've been very tired the past few weeks and somewhat relating to Ms. Gruwell. The line made me imagine God saying this to me. Whenever I go to the lavatory at work as I cry out to Him all my frustrations He'll say, "You have been blessed with a burden, my daughter."

"Blessed by a burden? Lord, sure ka? It's very unusual for those two words to be in the same sentence you know. I mean, some days I try so hard to find even one blessing amidst all the burdens, and now, Lord, you want me to see the burdens AS blessings? I'm not sure I know how to do that."

I never imagined a dream can become a burden. Dreams should be something I love doing. It should be something that I will be really passionate about. I didn't realize being burdened will be part of a dream. But, if my dream is something that God has put in my heart then He must be obeyed. To surrender to His perfect will I must obey... with joy.

I'm not discouraging you to dream. Having a dream is good lalo na if it is from God. But remember that in achieving that dream it is inevitable to have trials on our way. People will try to discourage us and they might even be correct. But if you believe this is really something that God wants you to do, if it is something that He has put in your heart, do not let go of it. Take that burden as a blessing... as a call from God. And of you surrender under His perfect will, the results will be amazing. It may seem impossible for the people around you, but for God it's not. Just look at what happened to Ms. Gruwell's class.

Remember, if it is from God...

...Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

So, what burden have you been blessed with? :)

Note: I've been writing for Wildfire's weekly online devotional DEV-O and this is my second post there. Feel free to visit http://wccwildfire.multiply.com if you want to read more.

Be INSPIRED: A Benefit Art Fair

INSPIRED is a benefit art fair that gives artists, art enthusiasts, and would-be collectors a chance to come together for two days of art appreciation. It's for art's sake and a good cause.

This benefit art fair is our way of raising funds for our good friend, Jonathan Nambu, who has recently been diganosed with lymphoma. Jonathan is the founder and the current executive director of Samaritana, a non-profit organization involved in helping women caught in prostitution.

More information on this organization can be found at http://www.samaritana.org

If you fee overwhelmed, tired and weary...

Revelation 2:2-5

I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

2 Timothy 2:2-5

You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.

Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. And athletes cannot win the prize unless they follow the rules.

Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Lamentations 3:25-26

The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

Psalm 27:14

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;

stop and smell the flowers

For the past few weeks I've been feeling like I'm always in a race. I always have the urge
to run or type very fast. I tend to speak very fast also and get very impatient when people
talk slow. I stopped taking pictures of events or get togethers because I feel they make things
slower and that they are not that important. But I love taking pictures and I love looking at them
over and over.

For the past few weeks everything has been a task for me, a "to do" in my checklist.

- Go to work.
- Greet someone on their birthday.
- Have a foot spa. (Wahhh I badly need this!)
- Attend Art Expo meeting.
- Deposit downpayment for hair and make up artist.
- Research on reception decorations.
- Meet the caterer.
- Scheudle first session of pre-marriage counseling.
- Go home.
- Attend late night conference call.
- Breathe (yes I sometimes catch myself forgetting to this.)

I know some (or most) of the things in that list should not be there. And it's frustrating especially
for me to see those there also. But that's what I've been feeling lately. I feel like my life has been
ruled over by a checklist.

But I know also that life should not be lived like that. I need to slow down. I need to enjoy living life.

I need to stop and smell the flowers.