Yes… I’m scheduled to go to Palawan with my boyfriend and our friends on the 12th of April ‘till the 16th (refer to previous post). Sana! Things have been out of control lately eh. Though I have the plane tickets already I’m not sure if it will push through the way it was planned. Something’s up with work. Something that I’m not ready to tell to the whole world yet. Hehe! Next time, promise! Ayun sana lang wag sila mag cross. Please pray for me. I really really want these two “trips” to push through. (Ayan may clue na ha!)
Last Saturday a friend sent me a text messgae about a classmate from high school confined in the hospital. The details of the text really made me sad. I was so helpless and felt that the only thing to do at that time is to pray for her. Even though we were really not that close, I was affected and found myself crying while praying for her. I just cannot believe it could happen to someone I know and someone my age. I did not question God but just lifted up everything to Him.
It was Monday morning when I got another text from a friend. It wasn’t something that you would want to receive upon waking up. Our classmate from high school, Mia, died that day. She died of cancer that originally was only infecting her nasopharynx but later on spread to her bones and lungs. Many other text messages came in after that. Old friends from high school started sending messages of grief and shock. We immediately went to her wake after work. It was nice to see old friends but never in our wildest dreams did we ever thought that we would be seeing each other again under these circumstances. We all went back Wednesday for it was the last night of her wake and we were told that she has expressed her desire for us to be there on her diary.
I went home that night with a different insight on death. This event brought me into a certain level of awareness. I've recognized that death can come to any of us no matter how healthy or how young we are. It’s something inevitable and something that we cannot foresee.
A friend asked me that night on what I would do if I were to be told that I’m sick and only have a few months or days to live. The first question that popped my mind was if I’m going to heaven or to hell. It sent chills to my spine. Though I was told that I will be saved if I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior I still can’t help but think of it. Have I really lived my life in a way that is pleasing to God that will allow me to have an everlasting life with Him? This realization has brought me a fear of hell. It made me more conscious of the things I do or even the things I plan to do. I know I may sound crazy to most of you. But I just believe that there is no time to waste, that there is no more room for excuses. Our life here on earth is not something that we own or something we deserve. It is a gift. A gift that can be taken away anytime.
...Thankful for the relaxation, complication, hibernation and irrational seclusion, confusion, all of my impurity and insecurities 'cause I know it's God just perfecting me. That's why today I take life as it comes...