on taking risks

There doesn’t have to be a reason for everything we do. That kind of takes the magic out of things, doesn’t it? Just like asking why the sky is blue and missing out on its blueness altogether.

Recently I learned how to take risks and why there are times we should stop asking why. Kaya nga when I met you I had to let my guard down. I don’t know why but I just felt I had to.

Now I am confused. I guess the real world is getting to me already. I had promised myself once to never let the world win. To believe in great impossible things when real life tells you otherwise. Pero I realized na hindi pala puwede yun. Because life, with its karmic nature will someday find a way to get back at you. Ayoko ng antayin yun.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for coming into your life and making it more complicated. I’m sorry for bringing you into situations where you were pushed to give in dahil lang wala ka ng magawa.

Until now I don’t know the reason why fate allowed us to meet or why we have this… ewan ko I don’t know what to call it. As of now ayoko munang hanapin yung sagot. I just feel we have to put an end to this before it gets out of hand at meron ng maskatan. I have to go now habang kaya ko pa. Everyday kasi it seems it becomes harder for me to get out of this na eh. Ayoko na antayin yung araw na hindi ko na kaya kasi mahal na kita. Ngayon na nakakpag isip pa ako ng tama eh dapat ng samantalahin. Araw-araw kasi hinahanapan ko sana ng logical reason yung mga ginagawa natin. Wala akong maisip kaya ng siguro mali talaga.

Thank you. I learned a lot from you. You are both lucky to have each other and whatever it is that you’re sharing. She is very lucky and blessed to have someone like you to love her. Treasure whatever it is that you have. It is something special na not all people will find. Don’t worry about me. I know someday I’ll find someone. Someone I can call my own. Hopefully din someone like you.

This is a letter written ages ago… hehe eto na naman ako sa ages ago. I forgot na kasi exactly when pero siguro mga October of last year (2003). I never had the chance to give it to that person. If ever he’ll read this… I am so happy that you came into my life. Ano man ang reason I still don’t know yet pero I learned a lot from you… as in a lot. A big part of who I am now is because of you and I will forever be grateful. And I am so happy that we were given another chance to share something else ngayon. This time I will never let it go. I hope and I’ll make sure na we will be friends ‘till we grow old. =>